Crochet pussy hat

Wow, I can't believe I've managed to get anything done in the last few days. After experiencing a major depressive meltdown, panic attacks and developing a cold, I've been pretty much out of comish. But I somehow managed to create an extremely simple pattern for a pussy hat. So far I've had one order for plain pink, two for pink and red, one for black and grey and one pure black.

I'm still not functioning quite yet, and I'm drinking too much. Being crazy is hard when you're still sane enough to know you're crazy. I honestly can't believe I survived this as a child, it's a living hell. I'm very lucky to have my hilarious family and husband. Yeah somebody actually married this crazy bitch. I wouldn't get through this without vulgar humour constantly being thrown at me.

So this is one thing I still managed to do, and like all my patterns, it's deceptively simple.

Pattern

You will need

8mm crochet hook

Either Bernat chunky or Bernat softee chunky yarn, or two strands of any worsted weight yarn held together.

Start by chaining the amount you will need for whatever sized head you need it for. I chained 55 and it measures 19inches, but everyone's head is different and everyone's tension is different.

Then connect back to the first chain to make a large, head sized circle.

Working in the round

Row 1. CH 3 and DC in each stitch around, join to CH 3 with slst

Row 2. CH 2, two FPDC in first two DC, two BPDC in next two DC, repeat around and slst to CH 2

Row3. Repeat row 2

Row 4. CH 2, DC into same stitch and in each stitch around, slst to first CH 2

Repeat row 4 until your hat measures about 8 inches in height.

When your hat is tall enough, turn it sideways, so the back seam is at the side, and slst across the top of your hat to close up the top. It should look like a rectangle, then weave in your ends and you're done.

Of course there's lots of variations you can make, as long as the final product fits your head, and is shaped like a rectangle. Then when you put it on your head that hopefully is round, then the corners of the rectangle stick out like ears. I can't help you if your head is like, a parallelogram or something, sorry 'bout that.

Comments

Crocheting in heaven or hell?

Okay I know I said that I live in the midde of Canadian nowhere, but apparently there are nowherier places than nowhere. About a month ago Ryan got called to work out of town in a tiny little butthole town called Fort.Saint James. It's still in B.C., but it's much farther north. When he went up, I went to stay with my mom, I do better business where she lives anyways, but after a month I missed Ryan so bad I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to see him, I also really needed to get laid ;) so I booked a 15 hour red eye bus up, and here and I am in a dingey, low end motel, in a town that I'm not allowed to walk around in by myself. I'm exhausted, there was too many weirdos on the bus for me to relax, I slept only about 2 hours(with one eye opened) and once I got off the bus in prince George, Ryan picked me up, and it was another 2 hour drive to Fort.Saint James. I know it sounds awful, but tbh I've been here for two days and I'm really enjoying the alone time,

Crochet Chunky Men's Hat

About a month ago I made myself and my husband matching hats, I got some new Bernat Chunky yarn and wanted to play with it because I'm a giant dork. So hats it was, we needed some anyways. It doesn't get as cold here as most of the rest of Canada, maybe -8 c at the absolute lowest and only at night, still nice to have winter hats though. Well my husband(Ryan) is obsessed with his, he never takes it off. It's already worn down and looks a million years old because he wears it at work all day. But in all fairness, he looks a million years old to so..... The originals Today Ryan came home and said his boss has been bugging him for a hat like his, and since I'm FUCKING AMAZING I obliged. I wanted to return some of the blue softee chunky yarn I had bought the day before anyways because it turns out I hate it, oops. So I went and exchanged it for grey(the only good mens colour they had) and got straight to work. I absolutely love this hat, it only takes abou

Crochet one skein baby blanket and hat

One skein This baby blanket is the perfect gift to make for new or soon to be parents, and here's why you guys. 1. It's fucking adorable 2. It only takes one skein of Bernat Chunky yarn so it's inexpensive 3. It's super soft and squishy 4. It's really warm so it'll shut that screaming baby's cry hole so mom and dad can actually get some damn rest 5. It's works up super fast. I actually had no intention of making this blanket, or anything for that matter, on the weekend that I created it. I was at my moms house being the perfect daughter, not swearing or being inappropriate at all I swear. No for real I swear, I was just sitting there quietly with my hands in my lap(okay fiiiiine, I was being an asshole) but you can't blame me, I was bored. Anyways Ryan had come home a couple days earlier with this yarn because he's awesome and does nice things like that. So I played with the yarn for a bit until it decided to tell me what

Crochet and Tasteless Humour

Search This Blog