Crochet pussy hat

Wow, I can't believe I've managed to get anything done in the last few days. After experiencing a major depressive meltdown, panic attacks and developing a cold, I've been pretty much out of comish. But I somehow managed to create an extremely simple pattern for a pussy hat. So far I've had one order for plain pink, two for pink and red, one for black and grey and one pure black.

I'm still not functioning quite yet, and I'm drinking too much. Being crazy is hard when you're still sane enough to know you're crazy. I honestly can't believe I survived this as a child, it's a living hell. I'm very lucky to have my hilarious family and husband. Yeah somebody actually married this crazy bitch. I wouldn't get through this without vulgar humour constantly being thrown at me.

So this is one thing I still managed to do, and like all my patterns, it's deceptively simple.

Pattern

You will need

8mm crochet hook

Either Bernat chunky or Bernat softee chunky yarn, or two strands of any worsted weight yarn held together.

Start by chaining the amount you will need for whatever sized head you need it for. I chained 55 and it measures 19inches,  but everyone's head is different and everyone's tension is different. 

Then connect back to the first chain to make a large, head sized circle.

Working in the round

Row 1. CH 3 and DC in each stitch around, join to CH 3 with slst

Row 2. CH 2, two FPDC in first two DC, two BPDC in next two DC, repeat around and slst to CH 2

Row3. Repeat row 2

Row 4. CH 2, DC into same stitch and in each stitch around, slst to first CH 2

Repeat row 4 until your hat measures about 8 inches in height. 

When your hat is tall enough, turn it sideways, so the back seam is at the side, and slst across the top of your hat to close up the top. It should look like a rectangle, then weave in your ends and you're done.

Of course there's lots of variations you can make, as long as the final product fits your head, and is shaped like a rectangle. Then when you put it on your head that hopefully is round, then the corners of the rectangle stick out like ears. I can't help you if your head is like, a parallelogram or something, sorry 'bout that.