My ssris withdrawal experience, day 1.

This is going to be a detour from a solely crocheting blog for about a month(there will still be some though, don't worry) Today is day 1 without any Lexapro. In the last few months I have gone from 20mg to 2.5mg, the only major side effect during that time was fatigue and anger. However I have come off an SSRI twice before, Zoloft when I was 13 and Paxil when I was 27, and I know that it's once you quit the last bit,thats when the real withdrawals start. I see a ton of people online asking about withdrawals and also weight issues, so I though this way, anyone thinking about quitting can read this and get some damn answers for once.
I went on Lexapro about 2 years ago for anxiety and I also have a type of OCD called pure O. The problem is that ssris do two very bad things to me, they make me crave food and alcohol so badly that it's not even really a craving, I can't say no, and they make me fat(for obvious reasons). When I was on the paxil, I used to smoke marijuana, well the paxil made me crave weed to the point that I was high all day every day, it was awful. I don't smoke at all anymore, but I still do drink so it gives me alcohol cravings. The Lexapro works very well, I like being able to leave my house, I like feeling normal. Not worth it though when I'm just tired and drunk and fat. I mean, I'm not obese or anything, but I'm 33 years old and 5'2" and when I'm not taking ssris I weight about 115 pounds, once I take them I gain about 10 pounds a year, I'm at 135 right now, it feels very uncomfortable. Here is normal, healthy weight me...

Clearly I am normally a small person, that is natural for me. I have a pic of myself that I took yesterday, obviously it's not a great pic, but you can tell the size difference in my arms, breasts, belly...

That's what ssris do to me, they take me from normal, outdoor, fun girl, to fat, tired and just eating and drinking. I don't want to live like that, so that's why I'm quitting. I can't wait to be myself again.

So anyways day 1 is going fine, just tired and no motivation. No brain zap yet, no anxiety, some anger issues(I had a tantrum for no reason(oops) but i don't feel too terrible, I'm still optimistic, even though I know hell is on its way.

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