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SSRI withdrawal day 2 and 3

 DAY 2.
               OMG WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Why have I done this to myself? I opened hell's door today, dizzy, brain zaps every time I blink or move my head. I've had diarrhea aalllllll day, nauseated, and the worst of all, I feel like I'm not real. I feel like I've gone insane, I can't think straight at all and I'm out of wine :(
            I know there is reasons for going through this, but it's gonna suck so bad.
         It actually feels like the way it feels if you smoke too much weed or hash and you get too high, you cant think and you freak out, you know you aren't going to die cause it's weed and it non toxic, but it's really freaky and scary and uncomfortable. I've never tried any other drugs, but I would say, based on personal experience, that's pretty close to what I feel like right now, except I feel like that ALL. DAMN. DAY.
              I'm miserable, I wish I could take my skin off, I'm itchy, I hate life. I'm just gonna go to bed early and hope I can sleep this off.



  DAY 3.
                Today was much better than yesterday, still awful, but better. I slept in until 2pm and went for a long walk in the woods by myself. I'm lucky that I work from home, so I can take time off to do this. I wouldn't suggest going through this while working and maintaining a social life. I'm finding being Alone to be really helpful and I think getting some exercise really made the day a lot easier.
                   I'm still having really bad brain zaps whenever I blink or move my head, I'm dizzy and my head feels waterlogged, like when you've been swimming in big waves in the ocean for a long time. My head and jaw hurt non stop for no apparent reason, and I'm exhausted no matter how much sleep I get.
                  I got some wine today and drank the whole bottle over the course of the evening(about 5 hours) and it really helped a lot, like A LOT. I really feel like whatever goes on in a person's brain when quitting antidepressants, alcohol seems to alleviate the symptoms enough to make it manageable.
                   It's still yucky right now and I really wish I didn't have to feel like this, and I know I've got a long month ahead of me, I just keep thinking that if I stick with it, I can get back to being myself again. I'm tired of feeling tired and fat and blah all the time, I can't wait to be me again.
                 
                I'm gonna update every day, but only post every 2-3 days for the duration of this process. The fact that I'm even managing to focus long enough to write is crazy. But then again, I'm crazy so...

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