Crochet and Tasteless Humour

DAY 4.                  Late last night and this morning I had really bad depression, I haven't had  bad depression in years, it was horrible. Luckily by the time my coffee was done this morning, it was gone. I realised at one point last night, about midnight, that I had been staring at a blank wall for over an hour just thinking irrationally about every bad thing that's ever happened to me, it was bad.  But like I said, I feel better today.                It was a beautiful, sunny day today. Today is April 28th and we're finally starting to get some decent weather without rain about half the time. I live in B.C. so it's basically the same weather as the pacific northwest, so lots of rain and wet air most of the year. Since it was such a nice day, I went for a long walk, and listened to silly pop music because Taylor Swift and Justin Beiber might be lame, but that music improves my mood so....                Also I made a hat today, even though I'm having constan

 DAY 2.                OMG WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Why have I done this to myself? I opened hell's door today, dizzy, brain zaps every time I blink or move my head. I've had diarrhea aalllllll day, nauseated, and the worst of all, I feel like I'm not real. I feel like I've gone insane, I can't think straight at all and I'm out of wine :(             I know there is reasons for going through this, but it's gonna suck so bad.          It actually feels like the way it feels if you smoke too much weed or hash and you get too high, you cant think and you freak out, you know you aren't going to die cause it's weed and it non toxic, but it's really freaky and scary and uncomfortable. I've never tried any other drugs, but I would say, based on personal experience, that's pretty close to what I feel like right now, except I feel like that ALL. DAMN. DAY.               I'm miserable, I wish I could take my skin off, I'm itchy, I hate life. I

               This is going to be a detour from a solely crocheting blog for about a month(there will still be some though, don't worry) Today is day 1 without any Lexapro. In the last few months I have gone from 20mg to 2.5mg, the only major side effect during that time was fatigue and anger. However I have come off an SSRI twice before, Zoloft when I was 13 and Paxil when I was 27, and I know that it's once you quit the last bit,thats when the real withdrawals start. I see a ton of people online asking about withdrawals and also weight issues, so I though this way, anyone thinking about quitting can read this and get some damn answers for once.                 I went on Lexapro about 2 years ago for anxiety and I also have a type of OCD called pure O. The problem is that ssris do two very bad things to me, they make me crave food and alcohol so badly that it's not even really a craving, I can't say no, and they make me fat(for obvious reasons). When I was on the pax

       The best thing about having a blog that I don't get paid for, is that I can come and go as I please, and if nobody reads it that's cool too. It's been a month or so since I posted cause I do what I damn well please And I'm a die hard badass ;) I almost never take crochet breaks, but I just took a month off just because I can, I did nothing except one row a day on my temperature blanket(I will post about that very soon)       I've been messing with my meds a bit, ssris make me fat and lazy so I try to stay off of them as often as possible, once I hit 125-130lbs that's it, I'm coming off. So I'm slowly tapering the Lexapro and increasing the wellbutrin. Good bye muffin top, hello crippling anxiety and obsessive thoughts. Fun.       That aside, I maded this here baby skull cap, cause who says babies can only wear pink and blue?       Isn't it adorable? I don't know if this means I'm back in the game again or not, but I sure do

Okay I know I said that I live in the midde of Canadian nowhere, but apparently there are nowherier places than nowhere. About a month ago Ryan got called to work out of town in a tiny little butthole town called Fort.Saint James. It's still in B.C., but it's much farther north. When he went up, I went to stay with my mom, I do better business where she lives anyways, but after a month I missed Ryan so bad I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to see him, I also really needed to get laid ;) so I booked a 15 hour red eye bus up, and here and  I am in a dingey, low end motel, in a town that I'm not allowed to walk around in by myself. I'm exhausted, there was too many weirdos on the bus for me to relax, I slept only about 2 hours(with one eye opened) and once I got off the bus in prince George, Ryan picked me up, and it was another 2 hour drive to Fort.Saint James. I know it sounds awful, but tbh I've been here for two days and I'm really enjoying the alone time,

Fact 1: My husband is working out of town right now, in ft. Saint James. I thought I was gonna get to go see him this weekend but there's way too much snow to drive way up north, so I'm dickered. Fact 2: My sister is probably the most gorgeous woman I've ever met. She is a body builder, she has beautiful hair and her makeup is always different and perfect. Fact 3: I just drank a bunch of my moms secret freezer vodka and I am lit af.             Anyways I've been getting order after order for pussy hats, international women's day is in sight after all. But I've had the worst time figuring out sizes for the brims. I've frogged half of my work lately, good thing I'm patient. So I came up with a perfect brim for adult women's hats made with Bernat Chunky, or any size 6 chunky yarn. So here it is you guys. With a size 7mm crochet hook,chain 47 Yep, that's the magic number 47 I know, I know, Bernat chunky says to use an 8mm hook, well